At last, after months of pregnancy and hours of labor, your baby is born. Being the mother of a new baby is a huge responsibility. Unfortunately, it's a job for which we get very little training. You learn mothering skills by taking care of your baby. None of us, male or female, know instinctively how to change a diaper. That's something we learn, just as we learn the best way to hold a fussy baby. While we're learning how to do something new, chances are we will feel unsure of ourselves. Here are some ideas that can help build your confidence as a mother:
* Believe in your ability to be a good mother. Give yourself credit for things you do well. Remember them and build on them. For some women, recalling their times caring for little sisters or nephews, and their efforts during labor and birth remind them of their strength.
* Focus on the baby's basic needs. Babies need love, affection, food and warmth. Holding the baby, making eye contact, feeding and changing her, are the most important things in life for a newborn. Meeting her needs builds your confidence in your parenting skills.
* Give yourself permission to let go of advice that doesn't work for you. Each baby is different, and you are a different mother than your friend or relative.* Get some help. Ask family members or friends to help with shopping, cleaning or cooking. Discuss with your baby's father chores that he can take over. He may not do things the way you do. Remember that his way may work as well, or even better, than yours.
* Get some rest. You need sleep to restore your energy. Nap when the baby does.
* Share your experience. Plan outings with other new mothers. Join a moms-and-tots group. Plan a reunion with other families from your childbirth education class.
* Relax. The best gift you can give your baby is time with you. No expensive toys or gadgets are as important as you are in her life. You and your child have a special relationship. It will unfold as both of you grow and change. Remember to listen with your heart, and see with the eyes of love.

To learn more, ask your healthcare provider or childbirth educator if there is a "Life with a Newborn" class. Any time you are concerned about your baby's health, or your ability to care for your baby, don't be afraid to ask for help from relatives or friends, and always feel free to check with your health care provider.

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