Everyone has experienced loneliness at one time or another. Usually it is temporary and short-lived. Loneliness can be a problem for older adults. There are many reasons for this. Fortunately, there are many solutions, too.

First, it's important to figure out what loneliness really is. It's not just being alone. You can feel lonely even if you're surrounded by people. Loneliness means feeling isolated. It leaves you feeling sad or afraid. You may feel lonely because you are:

• grieving over a loss, especially the death of a spouse,
• feeling misunderstood, unloved, or useless, or
• spending too much time alone.

Trying to cope with grief all by yourself can leave you feeling very lonely. The older you get, the more likely it is that you will lose a friend or a relative. New losses can bring up memories of old ones. Grief support groups are excellent for people who have had these kinds of losses. You can learn what reactions are normal and how you can cope with the loneliness, while expressing your feelings with others that have shared your experience. Check with a local hospice to get information about grief groups in your area.

Sometimes we need to talk to someone our own age to feel like someone understands us. Children and grandchildren can be great, but if you've been feeling lonely in spite of their attention, look for support from your own age group, too. Close friends, brothers, and sisters are often supports throughout our lives. We all like having a chat about the "old days". Getting in touch with people from the past can help ease loneliness. You may be able to get information from family reunions, school reunions, the VFW, and other sources. If you have an old address, sometimes the Post Office or the Salvation Army will make special efforts to help you locate someone.

Loneliness can occur when you feel unloved. If you feel like you are not getting the attention you need from others, it's important to let them know. Be specific in telling them what would help you feel better. Let them know if you'd like to see them more often. Usually making plans for a certain date and time will get better results than being vague.

Older adults have wonderful abilities to share with others. Skills that you take for granted may be just the ones your local volunteer center is looking for. If you're feeling lonely, try a visit to a volunteer center.

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