For teen-agers, spring brings prom, graduation, and all the after-parties and social events that go with the season. Summer break is just around the corner.

  This time can be magical for your teenage children, but danger also lurks amid the festivities.

  Alcohol was involved in almost 60 percent of motor vehicle traffic deaths on weekends during prom-graduation season (mid-April through mid-June) in 2000 (the most recent statistics available), according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

  All parents of teens should sit down and have a serious discussion about the dangers of alcohol and drug use especially when users are driving a car. Even if your children are good kids, dont lull yourself into a sense of complacency by thinking they wont drink or use drugs.

  CONCERN employee assistance program counselor Matt Doyle, MS, LPC, says parents of teens should employ the E-S-I method: Expect, Suspect, and Inspect. CONCERN is an employee assistance program that serves Baptist Memorial Health Care as well as other companies and organizations in the Mid-South.

  To be nave, to play the ostrich with your head in the sand sets you up for potential disaster, Doyle said.

• Be direct. Address the issue directly regardless of whether or not your child uses drugs and alcohol. Think of it as preventive intervention. Dont wait until a problem develops. What we hear over and over in our office from parents is: I never expected this regardless of what the behavior is, Doyle said. Sometimes parents give their kids too much credit. Were all human. We all make mistakes.
• Set limits. It is important to set limits for your child and to make sure that you and your childs other parent are in agreement about limits and will enforce them. Parents should be united in the eyes of their children.
• Be honest, with discretion. Some parents who used alcohol and drugs as teens feel hypocritical about telling their kids not to use, Doyle said. Parents dont have to tell their children about every detail of their adolescence. He advocates the honesty with discretion approach. Simply state that you made mistakes and you want to help your child avoid bad choices. Parents know much more about being a kid than kids know about being parents, Doyle said.
• Dont be nave. If you didnt use alcohol and drugs, dont assume your children will make the same choice. There is a direct correlation between how nave parents are and how much their children get away with, Doyle said.
• Get educated. Educate yourself about alcohol use. Be a credible source for your children.
• Focus on expectations, not trust. Your children may try to make the topic of alcohol and drugs an issue of trust. Children will say You dont trust me! It should not be an issue of trust, but expectations, Doyle said. Say I expect you to do what youre supposed to do. If you dont you will be held accountable.
• Dont allow your children to drink at home. Some parents use the logic that their children are going to drink anyway so they prefer them to do it under their supervision. You are condoning it. If its not OK, dont allow it, Doyle said. Also, it is illegal to give alcohol to minors. You are responsible for the actions of the teens under your supervision.

  So when dealing with this issue with your children, keep these three things in mind: believe in what youre saying; be firm; and remember that teens want what they want when they want it. 

  You are a role model for your children. Even if they act like theyre not listening to you, they are.