Dear Concern Chats,

  On Friday, I met with my 9-year-old son's teacher. She requested the meeting because of John's lack of interest in classroom activities and problems with completing assignments. He also got into a fight with a classmate last week. His grades have fallen from straight A's to C's and D's, and he is in danger of failing this grade if things don't change soon. The teacher said she thinks John may have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and may need medication. I am strongly opposed to medicating children, and rarely even give him aspirin or anything else unless absolutely necessary. He doesn't seem to have these problems at home. We always require him to finish all homework in his room before any fun activities.

  He has seemed a bit moody over the past few months, and his recent fight was shocking. He has never had problems before getting along with others. He has to be told several times to do things, almost as if he doesn't listen to us. Also, he's started faking being sick in the mornings to avoid school. He never did this before starting at this new school, so maybe it is something like ADHD.

  We are very concerned about all of this. What do you suggest we do?

Worried Parents

Dear Worried Parents:

  Before you get overly stressed with this issue, you should consider several things in trying to resolve your son's problems. Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) has become one of the most commonly diagnosed and misdiagnosed childhood psychiatric disorders. The diagnosis may include hyperactivity, or it may not, thus the ADHD or ADD designation. A characteristic behavior is a short attention span, which can result in underachievement and often leads to significant behavior problems. Unfortunately, the problems associated with this disorder are frequently school-related and can put a strain on peer and teacher-student relations. As a result, the child may experience falling grades, frustration, isolation and even depression. However, many childhood disorders have overlapping symptoms, and some behaviors commonly associated with ADD/ADHD are remedied without a diagnosis or medication.

  As for John, there are several issues to address. First, it sounds as though before this year things were going well. Therefore, it is important to take a look at any significant changes in the family since last year. Further, it is important to consider that John's recent physical aggression may be related to emotional instability, which could be caused by a number of factors. The fact that he is in a new school could hold significant clues to this sudden change in behavior and performance.

  It is important that you get a professional mental health evaluation as soon as possible. A good assessment of the situation may bring quick results and provide relief. You may want to start with Concern EAP or your employee assistance program. I would also recommend looking closely at his homework habits, namely that he is spending adequate time on it without distractions. A meeting with both of you could offer John an opportunity to discuss some things that have been bothering him lately, and that, too, may give you some answers. Regardless, I would not wait to intervene.

Sincerely,

Concern Counselor