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New Baby Creates Jealousy
 
How do I prevent jealousy in my child when I bring a new brother or sister home?
Jealousy is a common reaction in siblings when a new baby is brought into the home. There are many things that you can do to prepare children for a new baby's arrival into the family. This can lessen children's fears and allow them to share in the excitement.

It is important to carefully plan when you will tell your children about the new baby. Be prepared to answer questions. Depending on their age, your child should be told about where babies come from and about pregnancy. There are many sex education books written for children of different ages.

Where do I get information for talking with my child?
Sibling birth classes are offered by many hospitals for children ages 3 to 10. Their goal is to help the sibling learn about babies and recognize their feelings about a new baby. Depending on their age, they learn to hold, diaper, and feed an infant. The class will also help them to see where the new baby will be born and where big brothers and sisters may visit you. Show your child the new babies in the nursery and explain that they will be a big brother or big sister soon.

Be sure your child knows who is staying with them while you are at the hospital. After the baby is born, have your children visit as soon as possible. It is better to have them visit when no one else is there.

How can I help my children adjust to a new baby?
How your other children react to the new baby often depends on their age. Toddlers are more sensitive to change and are very attached to you. It is hard for them to understand that they will be sharing your time and affection. A toddler may misbehave or begin acting younger in response to the stress and change. They may demand more attention from the parent while the parent is caring for the new baby. Punishing the child or insisting that the child share your love for the new baby does not work. Simply give the toddler extra love and reassure them as often as possible. Include him or her in preparing for the new baby. Allow the toddler to help prepare the nursery before the baby's arrival. Show pictures of when the toddler was a newborn. The child's attachment to their new baby brother or sister will grow naturally and slowly over time.

Change routines as little as possible. Avoid changing beds or rooms and do not start potty training at the time of the new baby. Either plan for this well in advance or after the new baby is home when the older child has adjusted.

Some other ideas include having a gift from the baby for their new big brother or sister. Also, a birthday cake for the baby may help the child understand why the baby is getting so many gifts.

Preschoolers are better able to understand what is happening. However, a new baby may not seem real to them until setting up the nursery or buying things for the baby begins. Preschoolers may miss their parents' attention. They sometimes resent the new baby and get angry because they are no longer the focus of attention. They need to be told often that they are loved and that there is enough room in your heart for both children. Allow them some time to be the "important one". They need praise and comforting, too.

School-aged children are usually proud and protective of a new baby. Spend one-on-one time with older children each day and let them help take care of the new baby. It takes time for your older child and your newborn to become friends.

Here are some more tips to help reduce jealousy:
  • during the pregnancy, let the child feel the baby move
  • let the older child talk about their feelings toward the baby, and explain what to do when they have these feelings
  • give your child extra hugs and kisses
  • assign special duties so your child will feel important and included when you are busy with the baby
  • set aside time to read books and talk at bedtime
  • arrange playtime with another child of the same age who also has a new baby at home
  • treat your child to a special breakfast or lunch with Daddy or Mommy, and
  • prove every day that you love your child just as much as you did before the baby came home.

Show a genuine interest in each child and what they are feeling and doing. Be honest and affectionate. Help each child feel loved, secure and special to decrease jealousy.




  Disclaimer: This content is reviewed periodically and is subject to change as new health information becomes available. The information provided is intended to be informative and educational and is not a replacement for professional medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis or treatment by a healthcare professional.

  HIA File CHL3739F.HTM Release 9.0/2006. Copyright © 2006 McKesson Corporation and/or one of its subdiaries. All Rights Reserved.


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